Redesigned….with you in mind.
Redesigned….with you in mind.
What do you think of the most?
What burns inside of you every day?
What makes you flow like the ocean?
What makes you light as air?
What makes you – YOU?
Ask these questions and the answers will come to you.
LISTEN to what’s calling.
Have you ever had that feeling of something nudging you from deep within?
Nudging you to do something different?
Nudging you to step outside of your comfort zone?
Nudging you to get excited or to move on?
Nudging you to push you to grow and expand?
A gentle encouragement or an abrupt sign – listen to what your intuition is saying.
Take action to listen to these nudging feelings to interpret something meaningful.
Even if the feelings are uncomfortable and scary, or exciting and moving –
The outcome of these deep-rooted messages is to encourage growth.
Take the time to LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.
Only then can the actions be taken to leap to your next step!
A touchy feely person in a hugless world
Now paranoid of interaction
Makes me want to hurl
Longing for something
Beyond my mind
To fill my heart
And help me unwind
Everybody buzz off
But be my friend
Will this cycle ever end?
A not so young mother of three, ages 11, 9, & 6. All born by C-section, the first two were messy emergency deliveries, and each had their share in the NICU for our short stay. One miscarriage before my oldest, one before the middle one. My body’s been through hell and back during these child-bearing years. Stories I never want to tell expecting moms.
I reminisce on Mother’s Day, as I smother my (tall) first born in my arms, on the moment I became a mom.
No one told me it was going to be so hard in the beginning where you’re in so much pain after being cut open and sewed back together again. Where the nurse demanded me to walk myself to the bathroom then out in the hallway or else I’d swell up like a balloon, which was already the case!
No one told me that once we got home, I was supposed to take care of this little baby without any provisions from the hospital. Just to figure it out as you go – which pretty much sums up parenthood. We have great supports but in those moments of dreaded night time feeds while in zombie mode, moms step up like no other human can.
And the fact that we can produce superfood with our boobs is phenomenal. But that’s not why we are superhuman. Mothers are a different category because of the many layers of strength, love, compassion, understanding, planning, and conviction that is instilled in us to combat the degrees of variables of obstacles, worries or fears and turn them into joy.
There is a constant battle of showing equal attention, equal love, equal time for every single one at all times. No matter what there always seems to be one who is not happy because of this and that and this and that and this and that. No matter how hard we try to accommodate.
That’s where the F-bombs and screaming come in. After all that we do as parents, there’s always the one who throws the last straw as if they’re testing the grounds for messy explosives. This mom was not built for that last straw. Once my cup is full, it pours out in profanities. So beware and be brave.
Patience at negative zero.
The reason why I created my blog Dr Jekyll Mommy Hide. A place where I can secretly hide to vent about what happens when the triggers are pulled. Then how I heal by loving hard with open heart while being ever so grateful for my life. Making everyone promise, including myself, to be better next time.
The mixed emotions of parenting on top of being a working mom, leads me turning to writing time and time again. The process is so therapeutic and keeps me in my sacred safe zone. I can lock myself in this process even when I don’t have anything to say because there’s always an endless flow, is what I ultimately learn in the end.
I felt the nudge to accept that, as writing is my secret hiding place, I need to learn how to be more open to share.
Without a doubt, I love and adore my kids, and would do most things for them. Yes, they squeeze the life out of me but it’s my job to keep inflating back up until they learn to be totally independent people. I have to trust that I’m raising them with dignity, alongside my soulmate, and that everything will be alright.
In the meantime, I’ll continue to use my sacred tools as a therapeutic process to ground and filter all depths of emotions of motherhood. Motherhood is raw but the essence of my soul is a part of them. To feel beautiful, ugly, sane, crazy, lovely, chaotic all at the same time in our pack of five. Somehow, we survive.
Right now for as long as it will last, I’m a happy mother. 😉
Thank you for this given Grace
To switch my perspective and my face
That the bigger picture is what stands
No matter what the circumstance
Trust that all will be good
Is what needs to be understood
Even on a heavy downer day
Keep going, don’t lose your way
It will feel lighter
Even on a different day
Keep working on continuous
Mind, Body, and Soul
Lessons from all experiences
Ready to unfold
Tell your story. Live to tell.
I am a Communicative Disorders Assistant (CDA), more commonly known as a Speech Language Assistant (SLA), (recent grads may be using Communication Health Assistant), who supports a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP) (and/or Audiologist) by:
This is me…my ‘why’. Unraveling more potential after my Technical Writing journey, resurfacing for more.
Tips for the homeschool fool who gets played by their kid during virtual school. I no longer want to hide in the vortex every time the triggers are pulled, leaving no holds barred mom to surface with F-bombs and harsh profanities.
The dent in my wall is a visual reminder of how I put my foot down (or punched the wall) and cut the cord to my kid’s endless whining during dreaded online learning. When you’ve had your last straw, you don’t have to punch your wall. Follow these new rules that will set you all straight:
Yes, the world is a disaster right now. But your home doesn’t have to be. Keep your walls dent-free and remember for all to just try your best. Leave any tips for us homeschool fools that are on the verge of breaking something!
I followed a prompt from another writer, who always inspires me @openskystories on Instagram, to write a list of 20 things that emerge. I wrote the list without overthinking (that much). I instantly felt so aligned while I understood my next steps.
In this exercise, I forced myself to look around, then suddenly my senses took over and flowed onto the page – the very last page of my Volume 5: Book of Inspiration – Reinstated.
My senses came through in waves until it flowed intuitively within these 20 things:
Wednesday: Free from teaching homeschool for April Break – and no work tonight!
Sunshine: In the middle of a gloomy week – break from overcast yesterday.
Breeze: Spring breeze coming in from the open screen door by my desk.
Spring: It’s warm, it’s cold, it’s stinky, it’s refreshing.
Grass: Green right now.
Tingling in my hand: From writing, squeezing so hard.
Gazebo: It’s a story of how we got 2 for the price of 1.
Backyard: Our oasis that hubby envisioned.
Feeling free but not quite: So many things to do. Don’t want to do it but I keep thinking about it.
Birds singing: Sounds of Spring. Reminds me of 4am chirping when I cue for my sons to stop gaming and go to bed! Hard truth we are night owls.
My workspace: Love it. Sensible, do-able, perfect.
My writing: Passion but also demise.
My work: Start Volume 6: Confessions of Dr Jekyll Mommy Hide: Professional at work, Freak at night.
Organized: It is but doesn’t look like it.
Unorganized: It looks that way but my space is organized. I feel like this until I write. Organized chaos.
Messy: The dirt around it.
Clean: Is what I should do.
Whatever: It’ll get done at some point!
Be: Go with the flow.
This 10-minute exercise helped to reset my mind and mode. It’s OK to be light and airy and not stuck waiting for the perfect deep transcending topic – which actually did show itself in the end. Follow your senses, trust your instincts.
Try it, I guarantee it will get you to your next page! What came up for you?
This letter is for all parents and caregivers but mostly for the moms that I’ve built close relationships with:
As I delve into play with your child, you give me your trust to seek out their strengths and honour their personalities. At the same time, your wall is up keeping guard, waiting in defence to protect your special needs child. Not wanting to hear the things they cannot do but waiting to hear the highlights of what they can do.
I will always give the good highlights to ensure that I am nurturing their full potential, as well as yours. I give ideas on how to successfully incorporate strategies that may help strengthen the communication between you and your child.
Specifically things you’re wondering about or have never thought about. I will big up your ideas that you’ve already been doing to make sure you know you’re on the right track. I will also acknowledge that it may be difficult to incorporate new ideas as life may already be too chaotic for change.
I want you to feel like you can share your story and receive support for who you are as a family while you take in some of my insights and clinical experience. I see you in your homes as I work to engage your little ones to communicate in play. I take your family dynamic as insight to develop my approach.
I share other parent’s experiences as resources for you to let you know that you are not the only one with a tentative night schedule or extraordinary meal plan. I want you to hear some of my personal parental experiences mixed in with clinical because ultimately, we are all parents and protectors of our children.
I want to hear your stories too.
I customize to your family’s needs and concerns in the moment. I hear your concerns about the future for your child as you may have some challenges with tasks of daily living but I want to ensure you that we need to focus on what we
can control in the moment.
Let’s take one step at a time, starting with what’s right for you and your family and how we can add or change elements to elicit balanced communication.
I want you to have the information that you need on the challenges that parents have shared with me regarding the community and the school system. I want to be a support system in your life as I understand that having children with special needs is not always the easiest journey but encourage you to share their successes big or small so we can celebrate them and educate the world.
I honour being unique and point out these qualities even though it may not look like what you expect.
I want you to know that I am a shoulder to lean on, a friend who can laugh at the insane stories, a friend who can cry at their first words and accomplishments, a friend who can be mad at the world with you, someone who can help advocate for special needs as it can be a jungle out there.
I want you to know that I understand outside of the box. I recognize your child’s strengths as huge celebrations and appreciate for a lifetime. I encourage you to share your trade secrets as it could help someone else in their day to day.
I want you to be a part of the bigger movement. You are exactly where you need to be. You can help teach us the relevant steps. I want to super-step awareness and get to the ‘How To’ part. Awareness is the first step but next we need to know how we can help.
How can we help each other in our day to day that will increase our knowledge of what other parents may need, if necessary, in a common setting like the park or a store? Or what life is like during a pandemic being stuck at home?
Everyone’s story is different but may share the same themes. The main thing is the love for your child. How to make them safe, strong, and independent.
Embrace each child’s abilities and learning style to teach concepts to be absorbed and expressed.
You have given me the gift of empowerment as you allow me to share my ideas to further your child’s development. You lead extraordinary lives, my special needs families, with your hard work, day in and day out. I am encouraged to see your happiness with every step your child makes to succeed.
You have given me the power to keep sharing knowledge that will also empower others. There will be ups and downs but knowing that your child is the reason why we empower is showing the whole world that being unique is special.
It’s time to embrace and connect to uplift and change this world a little bit faster than expected so that everyone can understand the true potential of a special needs family. One that has strength and value in my heart and soul.